Parent – So, here’s an example of The Blame Game in our house.
Dr. B – Good. I like examples.
Parent – My child’s excuse for not doing well in math is that the teacher is not good at explaining stuff … and isn’t very nice.
Dr. B – They doubled down on the blaming.
Parent – Yep.
Dr. B – It sounds like you’ve already quizzed them a little about the situation.
Parent – Yeah. Isn’t that what you told me to do?
Dr. B – Sure is. So what do you think is the basic problem here?
Parent – My child is not learning math! You know. The usual worry – no math no future.
Dr. B – Sounds like you are pretty worried.
Parent – Don’t give me that, “Sounds like you are feeling” blah, blah, blah.
Dr. B – Sorry, it just leaks out.
Parent – Well, leak me some good advice, will you?
Dr. B – What do you think your child is avoiding by blaming the teacher?
Parent – To tell you the truth, I think they know how disappointed I am that they are doing poorly in math.
Dr. B – Wow. That’s quite an insight. How did you figure that out?
Parent – My kid told me.
Dr. B – Well then, what would help with that disappointment issue?
Parent – A chill pill for both of us?
Dr. B – And how would you deliver the chill pill effect?
Parent – No. I really mean a pill.
Dr. B – Half in jest or whole in earnest, you were seeking a better state. What was that?
Parent – I guess I don’t want them to feel ashamed or embarrassed.
Dr. B – Or judged?
Parent – That too.
Dr. B – So, you have a good idea of why they needed to use the blaming excuse. Maybe you have some ideas about how to help soothe those worries?
Parent – Was that a trick question?
