Parent: I thought you said, “Practice makes perfect”?
Dr. B: I never said that.
Parent: I get you and my mother mixed up, sometimes.
Dr. B: That’s not good. So, what’s your question?
Parent: Well, I’ve been skiing for years but I don’t get better.
Dr. B: And?
Parent: Doesn’t that sort of disprove your Growth Mindset practice stick?
Dr. B: I hope not. How did you learn to ski?
Parent: I’m self-taught. I’m a good athlete. Figured I could pick it up.
Dr. B: How did you learn to turn?
Parent: Funny you should ask. First time down the hill in college I was headed for a tree …
Dr. B: And?
Parent: I just figured it out.
Dr. B: On the fly?
Parent: Yeah, I just turned instinctively. It’s kind of like skating.
Dr. B: Were you drinking?
Parent: That’s not relevant.
Dr. B: Do you enjoy skiing?
Parent: Yeah, but I’m still stuck skiing the blue slopes while my kids are off on the double black diamonds.
Dr. B: How did they learn?
Parent: I put them in ski school, right from the beginning.
Dr. B: So they learned to ski the right way.
Parent: I guess so.
Dr. B: It takes five times longer to unlearn a bad form than to learn it correctly as a beginner.
Parent: So practice won’t cure my technique?
Dr. B: Not if you are doing it over and over the wrong way.
Parent: Your Growth Mindset is beginning to get old.
Dr. B: Next time you go skiing, take a lesson from one of the ski school instructors before you start your day.
Parent: So how does this help me as a parent?
Dr. B: It’s a reminder that our brains are ready to learn new stuff, but once we learn something, it’s hard to change.
Parent: Again, how does it apply to kids?
Dr. B: Kids learn from what we say and do, and how we say it and do it.
Parent: So, don’t say, “ain’t”?
Dr. B: I was thinking more along the lines of be polite, treat others with respect, and be open to new and differing ideas.
Parent: Ok. “Do” are always better than “don’t” .