The Power of Passion and Purpose
In many ways, D.J. is the opposite of Neal. He is passionate about learning and building. He has not lost the curiosity he has had since childhood. He hasn’t coasted in school, nor does he settle for passive forms of entertainment. Unlike Neal, he engages himself deeply in projects and investigating new ideas. But, unlike Neal, he makes little effort to socialize. His best friend since preschool, Karl, moved away during sixth grade and D.J. has not found another close friend since.
In the following vignettes, notice how the adults in D.J.’s life join him in his world and gently pull him into ours. D.J. has refused to compromise himself and be what others expect of him. Yet watch how these adults help D.J. recognize that there are others who share his passions (for robots and programming) and that he can invite them into his world. Ultimately, they help D.J. find a sense of purpose, helping other kids like himself.
Andy, D.J.’s father, recognizes that his son is passionate and strong willed. Those are characteristics that can serve him well. But D.J. can feel isolated and alienated and his father will help him change that by encouraging the social engagement he needs. And that engagement will be done in a way that compliments D.J.’s talents, interests and personality.
Just Leave Me Alone
“I know it’s the summer and you want to relax. But you can’t spend the whole summer in your room,” D.J.’s father said.
“School was stressful. I need some alone time.”
“I respect that. I’m the same way. But too much time alone is not a good thing.”
“So, are you going to send me to Sports Camp like the Bryans do with their kids? Or to Bible School like the Robinsons do?”
“Mr. Robinson asked if you would like to help out with Bible School.”
“You didn’t!”
“Well, I told him that you would be honored …”
“Dad!”
“But for the time being, you were content with being Jewish.”
“What did he say?”
“I think he just said, ‘Oops’ or something to the sort,” Andy said.
“You think his feelings were hurt?”
“No, we both laughed about it,” his dad said. “So, what’s it going to take to get you out into the world this summer?”
“I’m out in the world, Dad. I’ve got a friend in Christchurch I game with; a friend in Seoul; a …”
“Christ’s Church? Where’s that?”
“Dad, you need to get out more. It’s a city, and it’s in New Zealand. Remember that bad earthquake? That’s where it was.”
“I’m glad you are a man of the world, D.J., but how about some friends who are not twelve time zones away.”
“Dad, kids who are thousands of miles away can be friends.”
“D.J., I have no problem with you finding gaming buddies on line. But you also need to do something where you will actually be with other kids.”
“I could go walk around the mall every afternoon. There’s lots of kids my age out there.”
“This is starting to feel a little bit like a debate,” his dad said.
“And I feel like you are criticizing my interests and how I spend my time.”
“Actually, I’m calling attention to what you don’t do.”
“Huh?”
“You need to be with people, not just on line with them.”
“I’m with you and Mom.”
“We’re pleased that you are spending more time with us. We’ll miss you when you go to college.”
“No guilt, Dad. Remember?”
“Yeah, but sometimes a little guilt is good. If guilt gets you to come out of your room to hang out with us, then … guilt is good.”
“I should be writing some of this down.”
“What I started to say is, ‘You need to pick an activity that gets you out with other people’,” his dad said.
“But everyone at school thinks I’m weird. Nobody likes what I like.”
“Which is?”
“You know, building robots and programming.”
“Didn’t we just go to Engineering Open House and watch the robot competition?”
“Yeah, but that was a bunch of college students. Those aren’t my friends.”
“Well, how did you become friends with the Christ’s Church kid?”
“All one word.”
“Huh?”
“The city. It’s Christchurch. Just a city, not a church.”
“Ok, so how did you make friends with your New Zealand buddy?”
“He or she, likes to play the same game as me and we’re about the same level, so …”
“He or she?”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure his name or her name is Dana. So I’m not sure.”
“Did you ask?”
“No, I thought it would be rude.”
“How old is Dana?”
“I don’t know that either. But I don’t care. We have fun with (name of game).”
“Ok, I mention the Open House because that’s a gathering of kids who are interested in building robots and programming them, just like you.”
“But they are college kids.”
“I thought you didn’t care about how old Dana is.”
“But this is different. They aren’t going to want to be friends with me.”
“I’ve got friends who are much older and much younger than I am.”
“That’s different Dad. That is like having friends who are old, older and oldest. When you get to be your age, it doesn’t matter.”
“Really. You said you are friends with Dana because you like the same games and you are close to each other in ability.”
“Yeah. So?”
“Well, remember the robots from the competition? Were they something you would want to build?
“Yeah.”
“And are they something you could build?”
“Well, yeah. I could totally build one of those climbing robots.”
“Then if you have the ability, I bet there’s some of those students who would enjoy building robots with you.”
“Yeah, while we drink beer and sit around and smoke pot?”
“Huh? Not all college students do that, D.J.”
“Sure Dad.”
Andy knows better than to tell D.J. what he has to do. But he is taking an authoritative stance about what he can’t do: avoid and hide away in his room. In essence, Andy is blocking the exits, so D.J. will have to get engaged (socially). Without his dad’s intervention, D.J. would opt to stay isolated, safe from threats of rejection.
Dr. Gopal
“I had lunch with Dr. Gopal last week and we were talking about his work,” his dad began a conversation.
“So?”
“Do you know who Dr. Gopal is?”
“Sure, he’s the guy down the street who runs around the park every morning.”
“How do you know that?”
“I watch him go by when I’m eating my cereal and reading the comics.”
“Well, when he’s not running in the park, he’s an engineering professor.”
“So.”
“He builds robots, D.J.”
“Oh, why didn’t you say that? What kind of robots?”
“All sorts. He told me about a robot they were building to unwrap a solar sail in outer space. And a robot for finding buried bombs.”
“Sounds like he works for the military. Would Mom approve?”
“I’ve heard they have projects going on in his lab that build robots that do all sorts of useful things, like help handicapped students open doors all over campus and fetch things for old people who have trouble walking.”
“That sounds cool.”
“Yeah, it does. I was telling him about some of the robots you’ve built.”
“So?”
“So, he was really interested. He wants you to bring some of them to his lab.”
“Why doesn’t he just stop by our garage on one of his runs?”
“Ha!”
“That’s a lot easier than packing up all those robots.”
“So you want him to visit your lab, instead of you go to his?”
“Well, his lab sounds totally cool. But if he just lives down the street, then we should just invite him over here.”
“You do know he is the Google Endowed Distinguished Chair in Robotics, don’t you?”
“Can he get me a free Google T-shirt?”
“Why don’t you walk down to his house and invite him to stop by?”
“Daaaaad. I can’t do that. He’s a big shot chair guy.”
“Sure you can.”
Andy is able to recognize that D.J.’s passion for robots is an entrée to the outside world. But he cannot expect D.J. to immediately grasp that, let alone take the risk of venturing out on just a simple promise. Therefore, Andy, has done some scheming, or rather attuned parenting, by paving the way for D.J. to make some connections at the university with people who share his interest in robotics. Notice how D.J. finesses the discomfort of social engagement.
“Dr. Gopal. Please follow me,” read the note attached to the tiny trash-can-turned-robot.
Dr Gopal stopped, looked down at the creature blocking his path, and laughed. “Why not?” he said to himself and jogged to catch up with the surprisingly agile trash can. Around the corner and one house down, he found D.J. standing in his driveway, remote controls in hand, ready to greet him.
“Is this one of the robots your dad was telling me about? You are D.J. aren’t you?”
“Yes. Dr. Gopol?”
“Yes. Your robot found me. I hear you have some more to show me.”
“Is now okay?”
“Well, I ‘m supposed to be finishing my run and eating breakfast.”
“No problem. I thought of that.”
D.J. fished the remote for the garage from his pocket. As the door rose, another robot, this one sporting a label: ‘MOM 2’, rolled up to Dr. Gopol with two outstretched ‘arms’. One held a small towel and the other a doughnut.
“I figured you liked to clean up and eat after your runs,” D.J. said.
“Well, looks like you planned this ambush well.”
“Ambush?”
“Yeah. Your sidewalk solicitor, here.”
“Dad said ‘go knock on your door’. But I thought that would be rude. So, I knew you liked robots, so I figured they could introduce themselves.”
“Well, it worked. I’m very interested in seeing your robots. I like how this Home Depot trashcan moves. Does it empty itself?”
“No.”
“Well, if it did, you could probably make some money selling them.”
“No way am I going to sell him.”
“Hmmm. And who pays for your parts? I sell some of my robots so I can build bigger ones.”
“Do you give your robots names?”
“Not proper names.”
“I think it would be hard for me to sell my robots. But I don’t need to. I get most of my parts free. Dad lets me go dumpster diving – but only after I ask permission. Actually, that’s the hardest part. Talking to the store managers.”
“Dumpster diving. Reminds me of growing up in India. We didn’t call it that, but I remember building things as a kid out of junk people threw away.”
“Cool. What did you build?”
“My family lived where there was no electricity. I built a windmill that charged a battery that powered a light so my mother could see well enough to sew.”
“Wow. You must have been a smart kid.”
“Yeah. I guess I was. Kind of like you, it appears. So let me see some of these robots. I need to be home in thirty minutes.”
“Yeah. I bet you want a real shower and a real breakfast?”
“Well, maybe you can find a way for your robot to take special orders for breakfast.”
“I like doughnuts, but I guess not everybody does.”
“I like doughnuts too, but I’m not supposed to eat them.”
“That’s exactly what my dad says.”
Andy is able to view D.J. in a social developmental sense. In ZPD lingo, he created a social engagement with Dr. Gopol that would be challenging for D.J., but with sufficient scaffolding to be successful. Andy talked to his neighbor, Dr. Gopol, and had confidence that whatever form D.J.’s efforts took, he would find Dr. Gopol interested and welcoming.
After viewing his robots, Dr. Gopol told D.J. to come find him on campus.
He said, “I have a young professor I want you to meet. His name is Dr. Christie. He will be really excited to meet you because his lab does research on low cost high impact robots.”
“You mean like robots for a demolition derby, like at Open House?” D.J. asked.
“Ha. No. What I mean by high impact is, he builds robots that do a great deal of good for people, but can be built very inexpensively.”
“Wow. That’s interesting.”
“Yeah. He grew up playing with robots and has never stopped. Except now it’s his job.”
“That’s the kind of job I’d like to have.”
“Well, come by my office and I will introduce you. Sometimes I’m hard to find, so email me first. My email address is simple: gopol@icrobots.net.”
“I can remember that. Mine is geekkeeg@gmail.com.”
“Ok, geek squared, I’ll wait to hear form you.”
Someone New
“D.J., why haven’t you gotten in contact with Dr. Gopol?” his dad asked.
“He was just being nice to me. He didn’t really want me to come see him.”
“What makes you say that?”
“He’s a big shot and I’m sure he doesn’t have time for me.”
“He is a big shot. And he is very busy. But what makes you think he is not really interested in you?”
“He was just being nice to me because he knows you. I’m just a kid. He doesn’t have time for me.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He said to come see him. He had someone he wanted me to meet.”
“And who was that?”
“Some guy named Chrislie or Christian. I can’t remember.”
“Jay Christie. He’s a new professor they just hired. He would be a great guy for you to get to know.”
“Why do you say that?”
“He reminds me of you. When they offered him the job, he asked if they had the wrong number.”
“He reminds you of me?” D.J. asked puzzled by what his dad meant by that comment.
“Well. He’s really smart and pretty geeky. And he probably has no idea of how talented he is or how much people like having him around.”
“Oh. Just what you tell me all the time.”
“Yeah. So Dr. Gopol is a very busy guy, but he really does want you to meet Dr. Christie. What have you got to lose?”
“Can I just send one of my robots instead?”
“Not this time. You really need to do this yourself, without the help of your robots.”
“You know what I’m going to invent some day, Dad?”
“I can’t wait to hear.”
“Are you being sarcastic?”
“Remember, we agreed that I would tug my ear if I said something sarcastic? So, tell me, what are you going to invent?”
“I’m going to invent a robot that walks up to girls and talks to them.”
“You mean so the guy doesn’t have to worry about getting shot down?”
“Exactly. Did you already think of this yourself?”
“No, but I have a name for the robot.”
“What’s that?”
“Cyrano.”
“Zero-no?”
“Yeah, Cyrano. You should test it out on Mom first. She’ll give you some good pointers.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“Now, while you are sitting here, let me see you send the email to Dr. Gopol. It’s rude to keep him waiting.”
“Ok.”
Even though the road was paved and all he had to do was drive down it, D.J. continued to avoid. Fortunately, his father kept a watchful eye, both on D.J.’s end and on the receiving end with Dr. Gopol. Unlike the earlier version of Andy and Helen in Part I, D.J.’s parents are far more active. No longer do they anxiously wait and hope something good happens. They are aware of D.J.’s tendency to avoid loss or rejection, and gently ask and nudge to help him overcome the avoidance he employs to stay safe.
“Hey D.J., I thought I was never going to hear from you,” Dr. Gopol said.
“Sorry. I wasn’t sure you really had time to talk to me,” D.J. said.
“I always have time to talk with budding robotics engineers.”
“Ha. Thanks.”
“So did you bring some of those cool robots with you? I told Dr. Christie about you. He said he’s eager to meet you.”
“Yeah. I brought three of my favorites. I hope they survived the ride on the bus.”
“I’m sure you will get them in working order. Come, let’s go find Dr. C.”
Dr. Christie welcomed D.J. and quickly made him feel comfortable. Perhaps that was in part because he recognized a little bit of himself in D.J., the shy, socially awkward, nerd he used to be. Well, maybe still is. But around the university and in his lab in particular, he was anything but shy and awkward. Dr. C. already had a reputation for promoting the development of inexpensive engineering solutions to everyday problems – especially those of poor people. What put D.J. at ease from the first day was the abundance of Lego structures in Dr. C.’s lab and even his office.
After seeing the robots D.J. had built on his own, Dr. C. told him about a project he had going with a small DARPA grant. After reassuring D.J. that it was not weapon’s research, he was able to intrigue him with,
“I could use your help with this …”
“Seriously? You want my help?” D.J. asked, not quite believing what he had heard.
“Yeah. Seriously. I can’t pay you, but I’d enjoy getting your ideas.”
“Sure. What do I need to do.”
“Well, the goal of the project is to make a little robot that can go anywhere and shine a laser on stuff that we need to identify … from a safe distance.”
“Like bomb detection?” D.J. asked.
“I suppose. But more likely it will be toxic chemicals.”
“Cool. I mean, oh … “
“Here’s what I need. I need a robot that gets into tight places and can get out. That can find its way home. And can transport a laser and the equipment to transmit data.”
“And you want me to build that?”
“Well, I was hoping you would work on building something that didn’t get stuck.”
The first two months flew by. D.J. threw himself into the project Dr. C. had given him. Although he had a little workbench at Dr. C.’s lab with his name on it, D.J. continued to do most of his work at home. Dr. C. had easily tapped into D.J.’s passion for robotics and had given him some purpose to go along with it. D.J. no longer felt a little guilty while he worked in isolation on his robot. Now he was doing something important that people really needed. Unfortunately, the main social engagement occurring around this project was D.J.’s family room demo’s for his mom and dad. When D.J.’s enthusiasm waned a bit, Andy picked up on it.
“What, no robot show tonight?” Andy asked.
“Very funny.”
“What’s up? I haven’t heard the gears turning lately?”
“In my robot or in my head?”
“Ha. Neither I guess.”
“Well, the gears in my head are stuck. I can’t figure out how to make my robot do what Dr. C. says it needs to do.”
“Hmmm. Why don’t you go ask him for some help?”
“Good idea, Dad. Why didn’t I think of that?”
“That’s why they pay me the big bucks for being your dad.”
“Ha.”
This time the nudge was easier to enact. D.J. just needed to be reminded that there was someone out there who was interested and could help. Andy realized that his son tended to get wrapped up in his projects and forget that there was a world outside his bedroom – inhabited with sentient beings. Part of what made the nudge easier this time was the role of purpose. D.J. was passionate about robots and Dr. C. was an easy guy to talk to, but the fact that his project had a purpose meant that hesitancies that might have slowed him down before were overcome. He didn’t hesitate, once he was reminded, to engage.
“Professor C., can I talk to you?” D.J. asked as he stood in the doorway to Dr. Christie’s office at the Engineering Building on campus.
“Sure. Come on in D.J. Have you got something to show me?”
“Yeah, but can we go somewhere where there’s more space?”
“OK, let’s go downstairs to my lab,” Dr. C suggested. “That’s a big duffle bag you’ve got there. I can’t wait to see what you’ve come up with.”
As they entered the lab, D.J. noticed three young adults at the far end of the large room, laughing as they huddled around some device that had their full attention. D.J. noticed that the clutter of tools and supplies that surrounded them obviously did not have their attention.
D.J.’s attention was quickly brought back to his own project when Dr. C said, “So what’s on your mind? Is there something I can help you with?”
“I hope so,” D.J. said as he laid his new robot on the floor, grabbed the remote controller, and set the duffle bag neatly on the workbench. “I think I have it working pretty good when it comes to not getting stuck in places, but I’m not sure where I’m going to put your laser equipment. One way it gets itself unstuck is being able to move upside down.”
“Well, let’s take it for a spin. You haven’t let me see anything for a couple of weeks. Show me what it can do.”
D.J. checked the batteries and flipped on the power. Slowly, but stably, the robot circled around the room. When it got to a wall, it automatically changed course. It easily found its way out the door and started down the hall. D.J. pushed a button and proudly said, “Watch this Dr. C.” And with that, the robot reversed course and returned exactly following its previous path.
Ha. That’s going to be a very valuable feature. Did you think of that all by yourself?”
“Yeah,” D.J. beamed.
“So what can I help you with, besides heaping more praise on you for your cool project?”
“I changed the design so it doesn’t get stuck. But now I don’t know where I’m going to mount your laser and monitor.”
“Hmmm. That’s an interesting problem. You solved one but created another.”
“I’m sorry, Dr. C.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. This sort of thing happens all the time. That’s what makes engineering so much fun.”
“Fun, sometimes, but also frustrating.”
“Well, look. Compared to a month ago, your robot is much better at getting places and getting out of places. Right?”
“Yeah. It got stuck a lot, before.”
“So you’ve made great progress. Now all you have to do is find a creative way to build in my equipment without losing that mobility.”
“Got any ideas? I feel stuck. Your bigger wheels idea really helped with the mobility.”
“Glad I could help. I’m also glad you came and discussed it with me instead of just trying to do it all by yourself.”
“Yeah. I agree. So what do you think I should do next?”
“Well, I’ve got a department meeting in ten minutes, so I’m not going to be much help this afternoon. But I know someone who might be helpful,” he said as he glanced at the three across the room.
“Who are they?”
“Those are two grad students and a senior undergrad. Benjamin, the one with the dark hair, is from Israel. Hi No is from Shanghai. And Geraldine is from Portland, Oregon. But we call her Geri.”
“So, Hi No?”
“No, I know.”
“I thought you said, Hi No?”
“I’m just giving you a heads up about a joke coming your way when you meet them.”
“Oh, thanks. I wouldn’t get that.”
“Well, you are not supposed to. That’s what makes it funny.”
“Oh. I’m not very quick with jokes or teasing Dr. C. I’m usually just trying to stay calm when I meet people.”
“Well, don’t worry about those three. Hi No is new to the lab. We are just getting to know her. Benjamin and Geraldine have been with me for a while. They are great.”
“My dad is a big fan of Ben and Jerry too,” D.J. smiled.
“Why, I think that was a joke, young man. I hope it was at your father’s expense and not mine,” Dr. C. said as he patted his belly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s funny. But I’m not sure Ben and Geri over there think so anymore.”
“So my joke was not original?”
“Original to you. But the Ben and Jerry’s jokes do seem to come to mind when their names are mentioned together. But, keep it up. Humor is a good thing.”
“So they tell me.”
“Here’s what I suggest. Introduce yourself with your robot. Once they see your robot climbing over all their tools and junk, they’ll be interested in meeting you, without saying a word. They’re over there building a robot for the next Engineering Open House competition.”
“Thanks. That sounds like a good idea.”
Dr. C’s lab was a good fit for D.J. Instead of sending him to twice-weekly social skills group therapy, the adults in his life recognized that he simply needed to swim in a pond with similar fish. Dr. C. knew a shy awkward teenager when he saw one. Outside the engineering building, you might say that about a lot of his students. But in this setting, they were curious and engaged. They all shared the same passion for investigating and building. Adding D.J. to that mix was a no brainer. It helped that Andy knew Dr. C. and gave him a heads up about D.J.’s frequent need for nudges.
“So how did it go?” Dr. C. asked.
“Great. Benjamin said I didn’t need to worry about pointing the laser because I could just control a mirror. And Geri said that I could use a smaller battery and that would leave more space for your monitoring equipment. Then Hi No said, ‘Skip the equipment and just use an iPhone to transmit the data to a remote monitor’.”
“Well, I was really asking how the interaction went. But it sounds like things went well.”
“Very well, Dr. C. They like my robot and then they asked if I wanted to help them with theirs.”
“Wow. I’ll have to check the rules to see if high school students are allowed. Did they ask?”
“They asked me what year I was. I said, ‘freshman’ and then they asked me what dorm I lived in. I told them I still lived with my mom and dad. They just said, ‘that’s cool’ and then we talked about other stuff.”
“Ha. So they don’t know you’re in high school and not college?”
“I guess not. Isn’t obvious that I’m not a college student?”
“No problem. They’ll figure it out. But I doubt they care how old you are. Sounds like you have some great new ideas to try out.”
“Yeah. They were really helpful. I don’t know if I would have figured those things out on my own.”
“I’m glad you got their help. We like working in teams around here. Collaborating can work really well if people are good at sharing and listening.”
“Yeah. I worked hard at listening.”
“Ben and Hi do have strong accents.”
“No. I have to work hard at listening to people in general. I’m used to just doing stuff by myself.”
“Well, you are a very smart and creative kid. But everybody needs someone to bounce ideas off of.”
“Yeah, it was fun. I haven’t had that kind of fun since I went to robotics camp two summers ago.”
“I’m glad you came to our lab.”
“So am I. But the truth is, my dad bugged me until I gave in and came to see you.”
“So you did it to shut him up?” Dr. C. laughed.
“Kind of. He can get stuck on stuff just like me. But for him, sometimes it’s nagging he is stuck on.”
“Well, it has worked out well for everybody.”
One Friday afternoon after school, D.J. wandered into the lab with a robot related question. But before he could ask his question, Dr. C. asked him:
“Hey, what are you doing here on a Friday afternoon?”
“Are we not allowed in the lab on Fridays?”
“Ha. Of course you are. But most of my students are out having fun.”
“I think coming to your lab is fun. Don’t they think it’s fun?”
“Yeah. I suppose they do. But they are out socializing tonight. Just being silly, I assume.”
“I don’t do silly.”
“Your dad says you don’t socialize much. How come?”
“I don’t get along well with most folks.”
“Seriously? You get along great with everyone in the lab.”
“Well, you guys are different. Forgive me for saying this, Dr. C. but everyone around here is a geek, just like me.”
“Geeks and proud of it. So don’t you have any geek friends?”
“Not really. Except on line. No one at school seems to be into robots and I’m sure not into sports.”
“You said you had fun at the robotics camp and you seem to enjoy working with the students in my lab.”
“Well, I wish there were more people like you and Ben and Geri, but my age.”
“Maybe you just need to find them. I’ll bet you’re not the only person who’s interested in robots and programming.”
“I can’t wait ‘til I’m old enough to go to college. Then I can just live in a lab like this.”
“Why don’t you build your own lab?” Dr. C. asked.
“I can’t do that.”
“Ever watch the movie, Field of Dreams?”
“No, but my dad really likes it. It’s about baseball, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. It’s about baseball. But it didn’t have to be about baseball. Go watch the movie and then come talk to me.”
“Baseball for homework?”
“Trust me.”
D.J. was out of his bedroom and engaged. Well, at least far more than he was previously. But he was still a long way from being engaged socially with kids his own age. Not to worry. The power of passion and purpose still held some untapped potential. Dr. C. had long recognized that he finessed the same ‘problems’ of shyness and unique interests that plagued D.J. His solution was to create a setting that other like-minded people would find intriguing and come to him. If it worked for him, why couldn’t it work for D.J.?
“What did you think of the movie, D.J.?” Dr. C. asked.
“I liked it, even though it was about baseball.”
“So what was the theme of the movie?”
“Is this like a quiz, Dr. C?” D.J. asked.
“No. But the movie had a theme that I wanted you to appreciate.”
“Theme? Well, I guess the theme was, ‘If you build it they will come’,” D.J. ventured.
“Exactly. The farmer (played by Kevin Costner) trusted that if he built this baseball field, then something good would happen. And it did. All sorts of folks showed up.”
“Right out of the corn.”
“Ha. You are getting better at the jokes.”
“Why did you want me to watch the movie?”
“You told me that you wished you had more geeky people to hang out with, closer to your own age,” Dr. C. recalled. “Well, maybe you have to build something that brings all you geeky kids together. That’s what I did at the University with my job. I hang out with geeks all day, unless I’m in committee meetings. In that case, I’m hanging out with …”
“Slytherins?”
“Yeah. Slytherins and Muggles.”
“I can’t build a lab like yours.”
“Why not? You wouldn’t believe all the equipment we throw away every year. More accurately, try to throw away. The University frowns on throwing things away. Anyway, you could start a great lab with just the stuff we need to part with.”
“So you think if I had a lab, a whole bunch of geeky teenagers would show up?”
“Wouldn’t you? Especially if you got to play with lasers and 3-D printers and robotics equipment?”
“I would, but I’m not sure there’s anyone else.”
“Half the (undergrad) students in my department grew up within 200 miles of here. Some of them even went to one of the high schools in town. So they are out there. You just have to find them. Build it and then invite them into your world.”
“And where will I find the space?”
“Guess you’ll have to figure that one out. I’m in for a bunch of the equipment, but you’ll have to figure out how you’ll make the whole space thing work.”
In keeping with his style of overlooking or avoiding golden opportunities, D.J. just let Dr. C.’s suggestion of a lab for kids just wither on the vine. Passion and purpose are critical, but an essential piece for each of these kids, especially D.J. is the relationship with adults who are attuned and encourage sustained engagement. D.J. is like so many other sensitive kids who chose safety over risky opportunity. The (I want) gets ignored or devalued and the (I can) feels too daunting. Fortunately for D.J., he had adults in his life who listened to what he wanted and reminded him that he can.
“How are things going at the Lab?” Andy asked. “You seem to be spending lots of time there.”
“Yeah. There’re some pretty cool students there. We help each other with our projects.”
“I’m glad you found some folks you enjoy.”
“I don’t know if enjoy is the right word. But we really do help each other.”
“Good. What sort of things are people working on that you help with?”
“One of them is making a solar oven.”
“And you helped?”
“Yeah. They wanted it to make good use of the sun, but didn’t want to spend a lot of money on motors and stuff.”
“And?”
“Well, they needed to keep it pointed toward the sun, as much as possible.”
“So how did you help?”
“Well, I said to use connectors that got longer depending on how hot they got. So, it just kind of points itself at the sun now when it gets hot on the sunny side.”
“Does it work?”
“Well it works with rubber bands and a heat lamp, but we haven’t tested it outdoors yet.”
“Sounds like an elegant solution.”
“The students in the lab gave me a T-shirt. It says, ‘Cheap is beautiful’.”
“Does the shirt come with an explanation?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, wear it and find out.”
“Dr. Christie said that I should start a lab of my own for younger kids like me to hang out.”
“That sounds like a great idea.”
“Yeah. He even said he’d give me a bunch of equipment to use.”
“A lab for kids like you?”
“You know. Geeks. Kids who like to build robots and program all day. He said, ‘If I build it they will come’.”
“What a great idea. Where is it going to be?”
“I thought our garage would be a good place.”
“Well, it was a good idea right up to the point where you said our garage. No way Mom would agree.”
“She said, ‘No way Dad would agree’,” D.J. sighed.
“Well, what we should have said was, ‘Great idea, but it needs its own location’.”
“Can you help me find one?”
“Hmmm. That will be a challenge.”
“I knew you would want in on it, Dad,” D.J. said as he bolted from the room to go tell his mom that Dad had agreed to their plan.
The Building
“It doesn’t look very good, but it is solid. The roof doesn’t leak. And the plumbing still works.”
“Dad. You’ll never make it as a salesman,” D.J. said.
“Well, it’s not much to look at, but it has potential.”
“Why did you pick this building?”
“I didn’t. It picked us.”
“Huh?”
“Well, it’s in our price range, to begin with.”
“What do you mean? I don’t have any money.”
“That’s what I mean. The building is free.”
“Why?”
“Well, when Mrs. Anderson, of Anderson Construction Company, died she gave the building to the city with the stipulation that it could only be used for the good of the community and for non-profit groups.”
“A lady who makes a lot of profit doesn’t want anyone to use her building for profit?”
“Yeah. Kind of ironic isn’t it. But she’s dead. We can’t ask her what she meant. But it is good for folks like you who don’t have any money but have good ideas.”
“You mean the city will let us use it?”
“I’m not sure. You’ll have to convince them.”
“Me? Convince them? How?”
“Well, somebody on the city council suggested they give out space to people who have winning proposals for how they will use the space and benefit the community.”
“You mean, like how my lab will keep dangerous geeks off the street and keep the community safe?”
“Something like that. Why, you have something to threaten them with?”
“We could promise not to hack into their computer system if they give us the space.”
“Who is we?”
“Right now, it is me, myself, I and D.J. Just the four of us.”
“Well, selling them protection from hackers is one idea. Can you think of another?”
“I don’t know. This is not something I’ve ever done before.”
“Speaking of what you have never done before, the proposals have to be presented in person at the city council meeting.”
“You mean, talk in front of all those people?”
“Yeah.”
“No way!”
“I’ll help you practice.”
“Sure. That’s easy for you to say. You’re not the one who has to do it. I’m not sure I really need to do this lab thing. I’m happy just working over at the University in Dr. Christie’s lab.”
“You’ve got three months to get ready. Maybe you can find someone who wants to do it with you.”
“You mean someone who wants to do it for me?”
Doubts
“Dad. There’s no way I can do this.”
“What worries you about it?”
“Well, talking to all those people. Convincing them of something they probably don’t care about. Doing the whole proposal thing. You name. I don’t like it.”
“Wow. It does sound daunting.”
“Daunting? How about dumb? There’s no way I can do this.”
“Well. Sounds like you need a plan and some help.”
“I think I should just look somewhere else for space. How about the basement at the Temple?”
“I asked. They gave me some reason I can’t quite remember. Doesn’t matter. The city building is a great location. Kids can get to it on the bus. It’s an ideal location and size for you. You’ll just have to find a way to make it work.”
“Plus, I don’t know how to convince people that this (lab) would be good for our town. Am I supposed to convince them that the town is a better place if geeky kids like me don’t spend too much time in their rooms?”
“Well, think about it. The stuff you work on at Dr. Christie’s lab is good for lots of people.”
“But that is different.”
“Well, you’ll just have to brainstorm about what sorts of good things you can provide the community … besides protection from hackers.”
“I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to Dr. C’s lab and ask Ben and Geri.”
“Great idea. Let’s go to IHOP tomorrow morning while Mom’s at Yoga. You can tell me what you’ve got planned.”
D.J. is passionate about robotics and building projects. He may feel that creating a lab for kids like him is a good idea, but it is far from being an idea that fills him with purpose and motivation. Perhaps better way to put it is this. The sense of purpose is having trouble competing with his anxiety about all the things that are potentially challenging and frustrating, especially when they involve engaging people he does not know. Andy is well aware of this current imbalance and he attempts to nurture the sense of purpose, provide support in dealing with challenges, while blocking D.J.’s inclination to avoid.
IHOP Pancake Planning Session
“So bring me up to date on your Lab proposal.”
“Geri wasn’t around, but I found Ben. He said that when he lived at this cabust, they had this workshop where anyone could work on projects. It had tools and people to help.”
“Kibbutz.”
“Huh?”
“In Israel, it’s called a kibbutz. Ben must have spent some time in a kibbutz.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s a community where sharing and cooperating are core beliefs of everyone who lives there.”
“Sounds cool.”
“You’ll have to ask Ben to tell you more about it.”
“Anyway. He said this workshop was free to everyone.”
“So anyone could just walk in and use the equipment?”
“You had to get training to use the power tools. I also think he said you had to have a plan for what you were working on. But there were always people around to help.”
“Wow. That’s cool they had all those people to help.”
“He said that everyone who used the workshop had to volunteer some time to help make it run.”
“So did this give you any good ideas for your lab?”
“Well, I’d really like to be able to use cool equipment. But what I wanted to do was make a place where kids like me would want to come and work on stuff we all liked to do.”
“You wanted to invite other kids into the world you enjoy?”
“Yeah. I guess you could say that. Kind of like the Robotics Summer Camp, but all year ‘round.”
“So, after talking to Ben, do you have a clearer plan?”
“Clearer plan? Dad, all I’ve got are a bunch of ‘I-wishes’.”
“Well, that’s a good place to start. I’ll write while you talk. Tell me five things you wish for with your project.”
“I wish I didn’t have to do all the work.”
“Ha. Ok, that’s actually an important wish. Next?”
“I wish someone would help me do all the talking to people.”
“Ok.”
“I wish this lab thing would just happen without having to beg the city people.”
“Yeah.”
“I wish I knew how to convince them that this is a good idea. How many wishes is that?”
“Four.”
“I wish other people thought the same way I do about this idea.”
“Good. I’ve got five wishes.”
“I’ve got wishes but nothing to show for them.”
“Not yet. Be patient. Let’s see. You wish you didn’t have to do all the work. You wish that others liked your ideas and you wish it wasn’t so hard convincing the city that the project is important. Did I get it right?”
“Yeah. So what good does this list of wishes do?”
“Well, it says that the first thing you need is someone to help you. And the second thing is a way to convince people what a cool idea you have.”
“Actually, I think I need to do the cool idea first so I can get someone who wants to help.”
“Good point. How are you going to do that?”
“Well, I know what I like, but that’s not always what other people like. I like robots, but other kids may not like the same kind of robots. And there’s some coding languages I’m not interested in.”
“So what are you saying?”
“I think that if I built a lab just the way I want it, it might not be what other people want. And the whole idea was to give other kids a place to come work on stuff they enjoy.”
“D.J., I’m proud of you. That is a very important bit of insight.”
“Insight?”
“Yeah. You made a good observation about yourself.”
“What was that?”
“Ha. That what you think is important may not be the same as what other people want.”
“That’s good insight? I’ve known that my whole life Dad.”
“Well, I have a suggestion. Why don’t you do some marketing research.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, I might have a great idea of something to sell people, but before I do all the work to make these things I would need to find out if people really want to buy them.”
“Yeah. Or you might find out they want something different, like I’m guessing is the case with my idea.”
“So, I think your next step is to find out what people want.”
“So much for ‘If you build it they will come’ idea.”
“Well, if you had a tractor, some farmland, and control of the movie script, I guess you’d be set.”
“I know. If I’m going to get some help, I have to have a plan other people are excited about.”
“Exacto Mundo!”
“Is that really Spanish?”
“I have no idea.”
“I’m going to do a survey of what other kids want.”
“Who are you going to survey? Kids from your class at school?”
“Dad. Those aren’t the kids who need a special workshop. I’m going to survey my friends on line that I know like robots and programming.”
“Wow. What a great idea.”
“Kind of like changing it slightly to ‘If I build what they want, they will come’?”
“Cool. Go for it.”
“Can we have another meeting next week? This was really helpful.”
“At the IHOP?”
“Yeah. You know what IHOP stands for?”
“What?”
“I Hope Our Plan’ works.”
“Or, it stands for, ‘I Hope Mom doesn’t have Other Plans’.
She’s going to say, ‘I’m doing yoga while you guys eat pancakes?’”
“Pancakes are brain food, Dad. Just tell her that.”
“No, you tell her that.”
Nurturing the sense of purpose was aided by Andy’s curiosity and support. He knew D.J. liked the idea, but that he was also overwhelmed with all the challenges. Getting those worries out of his head and spoken aloud allowed for them to address them, one at a time.
“I got lots of ideas on line. One of the kids said we should have a Facebook page for sharing ideas. They thought it was cool and some of them want to do something like it where they live.”
“You Crowd Sourced your project?”
“What?”
“Instead of one person trying to figure out how to solve a problem, you made use of a bunch of people. Very clever!”
“Thanks.”
“So tell me what you learned.”
“Well, I’ve got a whole bunch of notes, but I’m not sure I have them in any good organized form,” D.J. said as he opened his laptop.
“Don’t worry. I’d be glad to help you organize as we talk. Tell me some of the ideas.”
“Well, a couple of kids said they wanted to have a fancy 3-D printer they could use for projects. And then someone said they’d like to have someone around who could teach them cool ways to program the printer.”
“That would be great. What else?”
“A couple other kids said they wished there was some way to take ideas and make them into stuff they could sell.”
“Ha. Like a start-up incubator? You’ve got some big dreamers out there”
“Don’t laugh Dad. I think it’s a cool idea.”
“Sorry. I wasn’t putting it down. I think it’s everybody’s dream to invent the next great gadget. So, keep going with your list.”
“Another idea was to have ‘hack-a-thons’.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s when programmers get together, form teams and have a contest to see who can write the best new app by the end of the weekend.”
“Sounds like a slumber party.”
“Ha. Doubt there’s any slumbering.”
“Any more ideas?”
“Well. Someone said they’d like access to lots of building supplies. And then another kid said, we should have a rule that all the supplies have to stay at the lab.”
“What did they think of that?”
“Well, there was lot of disagreement about that, but in the end I think they decided that we could have a lot more supplies for everyone to use if we kept them at the lab.”
“That makes sense.”
“Everyone wants unlimited supplies of Legos.”
“Yeah.”
“So we all agreed that we would all pool our Legos.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I’d have to think twice about that.”
“You wouldn’t have to give them all your Legos.”
“That’s true.”
“So, D.J., do you have an idea of what kind of lab would attract kids?”
“I think I have a pretty good wish list for supplies. I’ll go talk to Dr. Christie to see what equipment he has for us.”
“Give me an outline of what the group said they wanted.”
D.J. rattled off some essentials like high-speed Internet, computer terminals, a CAD program, unlimited Lego’s and motors, a 3-D printer and support, hand tools like screwdrivers and soldering guns, hardware store supplies, some programmable boards, as well as some kind of engineering expert to help give advice.
“Well, it looks like you have a pretty good idea of what kind of sandbox these kids are after.”
“Speaking of sand. They also want a machine for etching circuit boards.”
“Ha. You guys dream big.”
“Yeah.”
“So what’s next?”
“Well, I have no idea how to answer the question of how it serves the community. And I don’t have anybody in town that is a part of the project.”
“What would you like to do about those next steps?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, as far as the second need, you are already well on your way. You have an advisory board for your lab.”
“What?”
“You have three great consultants working with you. Ben, Geri, and Dr. Christie are each willing to give you advice. That’s a better start than most start-up companies – three crack engineers. And you have evidence of interest from your Facebook page.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s right. But I still need some in-town kids involved.”
“Every week there is an article in the paper about something new in town. A concert. A new restaurant. A new store. I’ll bet you could get the paper to write about your lab idea.”
“That sounds as threatening as talking to the City Council.”
“Just write 300 words describing your ideas for the lab and put in a link to you showing off how you built a Robot.”
“You make it sound so easy, Dad. That sounds scary. And I don’t have any YouTube video of me showing off a robot.”
“Well, you’d better get to work.”
“Seriously?”
“Well, actually, I am serious. I know for a fact that you can do both the article and the video.”
“No way.”
“Tell you what. Do a version of each. You don’t have to show anyone. Use your iPhone to make the video in your room. Then if you want my feedback, I’ll be happy to give you comments.”
“Ok. But how about the ‘community good’ thing?”
“Oh, that.”
“Yeah, that.”
“I think you have a great solution to that already. Just post the question on the project’s Facebook page and let the Crowd work on it for you.”
“You know, Dad. Sometimes you’re pretty smart.”
“Sometimes?”
An editor at the paper was very eager to get D.J.’s query about an article. He sent a photographer to meet D.J. and his robots, and to D.J.’s pleasant surprise, the article appeared in the paper less than two weeks after his dad had suggested it. To D.J.’s great surprise, most of the article was still in his own words.
“That was pretty cool seeing your article in the paper.”
“Yeah. He even used most of what I wrote.”
“Does that surprise you?”
“He was probably just too lazy to write it himself.”
“Or maybe he thought what you wrote was pretty good.”
“Maybe.”
“Has anyone checked out your YouTube video?”
“Before the article there were three hits. I guessed it was you, Mom, and Uncle Erich.”
“Ha. Actually, two of them were my views.”
“But after the article. I’ve had about a dozen. And when I put the link on Facebook, I’ve gotten a bunch.”
“Cool. You know that you can put the link to your article up on Facebook too.”
“Oh. I never thought of that.”
“Do you think the article did any good?”
“Well, at first I was upset that the editor put my email in the article as well as a link to our Facebook page.”
“But?”
“But now I’m glad he did. I’m getting kids contacting me who live nearby, saying they are interested.”
“So are you going to go talk with them?”
“Go? No. Talk? Yes. I’ve got an on-line ‘meet-up’ planned for Sunday afternoon.”
“You’re making great progress.”
“And I even got some good ideas about the ‘community good’ question.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, the best idea was for us to promise to teach younger kids how to code and build robots.”
“That IS a good idea.”
“Why didn’t I think of it?”
“Why didn’t I think of it?”
“Ha.”
“So, what other things are you proposing to do for the community, beside keep the streets safe from geeks like you?”
“Well, remember the guys who wanted to do start-ups?”
“Yeah.”
“Well that led to a discussion of, ‘Why not have start-ups for community projects?’”
“You’d better explain that, because I’m not following you.”
“Well, any kid who has an idea of how to make something better in our town can come to the lab and ask for our help.”
“Cool. You’re going to kick start do-gooder projects?”
“Kick what?”
“Well, sounds like you can help the kids work on their projects and then give them a push. You know. A kick start.”
“But we don’t have any money or anything.”
“No, but you guys will have great ideas. I’ve always believed that money has a way of finding good ideas.”
“We’ll see.”
“Yes, we will.”
D.J. has never lacked passion for investigating and building. However engaging others was always fraught with enough uncertainty or risk that he contented himself with staying safely tucked away, working on his own. His father has done a nice job of remaining curious about D.J.’s passions and his new found purpose. To successfully pursue the lab project, D.J. must convince a number of people in the community of its worth as well as rely on others to help give it form and substance. Engaging people has always felt threatening to D.J., so his father’s support and gentle nudging has kept him from letting his doubts and worries dissuade him.
As a child, D.J. often resisted trying new foods. His parents often had to suggest he simply give it a try and then if he didn’t like it, okay. More often than not, he liked the new food. But without that nudge, he never would have gotten beyond peanut butter and jelly. The same principle has applied in the lab project. Every step of the way, D.J. needed a nudge, yet having done that, his interest and talent became apparent. And as he gained competence, that particular piece was no longer a stumbling block in the future.
“Dad, the deadline for submitting the proposal to the City Council is three weeks away.”
“And then you have to give them a presentation, right?”
“Don’t remind me.”
“How can I help you?”
“I don’t know where to start?”
“Did the Council give you a form to complete or a set of questions you have to answer? Like who, what, where, when and why?”
“Sort of.”
“Well, pull up the page (on your computer) and let’s take a look.”
“What do you think?”
“That’s supposed to be my question.”
“I asked first.”
“Well, I think what they are asking for sounds a lot like the newspaper article you wrote,” his dad said.
“Really?”
“Yeah, followed by your ideas about community benefits.”
“I still don’t know how I should do this.”
“Why don’t you take each thing they are asking about on their webpage and write a simple paragraph answering it. Now that you have written that article, I’ll bet you’ll be able to answer those questions.”
“Will that be enough?”
“That will probably be a great start. Do that and then show me what you have.”
Andy really is a charismatic adult in D.J.’s life. He understands his ability, interests, and personality. He knows where he stands developmentally and where he still needs to go. And, he can see where those qualities can lead if D.J. chooses to use them. As a result, Andy gently holds D.J. to expectations that his son is not ready to have for himself. D.J. takes inspiration from his father’s faith in his ability and takes risks based simply on his father’s assurance, “Trust me, you can do this.” This unconditional positive regard creates a safe laboratory for development.
“You answered all their questions. Now all you need to do is jazz it up.”
“What do you mean, jazz it up?”
“In the old days, they just read the news on the radio. Now days, the news is all jazzed up with ways to make you more interested.”
“You mean I should have a good looking woman give my presentation with lots of graphics in the background?”
“Do you know anyone like that?”
“The only woman I know is Mom, and she already said, ‘No’.”
“Well, you already know how to do graphics.”
“Hey. Do you think it would be alright if I made a video of my presentation instead of getting up and just talking?”
“What does the application say?”
“It says I have to give a presentation. It doesn’t say anything about what form it has to take.”
“Well then. Do what you do best.”
“What do you mean?”
“Use your skills to make a slick presentation.”
“You mean my programming skills?”
“Yeah. Unless you want to include a robot or two.”
“Ha. I feel a whole lot better about this already, Dad. Thanks.”
“You are welcome. But you are the one who has to do all the work.”
“Not exactly. I’m going to Crowd Source the presentation.”
“Seriously?”
“Well, I’m going to ask for lots of suggestions.”
“You know. One of the best things in a proposal is proof that other people already like your idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well. Why don’t you find some way to take all the enthusiasm for your project that your Facebook page shows and let the City Council see what a great idea other kids already think it is?”
“Dad, you continue to amaze me.”
“Seriously?”
“Which ear do I tug for teasing?”
After D.J. follows through on the next phase of the presentation, he brings it to his dad for review.
“I like how you used direct quotes from the other kids to show how much they like the idea of a lab.”
“Yeah. One of them posted that suggestion and I thought it was a great idea.”
“I’m glad you are getting the kind of help you need from your Facebook friends.”
“Yeah. We’ve decided we are going to be a regular resource for each other. ‘cause some of them want to get something like a lab started where they live.”
“Cool.”
“Thank you for not saying, ‘Awesome’.”
“Yeah. Your project is totally that.”
“Ugh.”
“So how are you going to show local interest? And how are you going to make your case for community good?”
“Well, a bunch of people in town contacted me after the newspaper article. And two of them are now Facebook friends on the lab project site. So I can show there is local interest.”
“And community good?”
“Well, my best idea so far is to show them how excited the Facebook people are about the lab supporting community projects.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“Beyond that, I don’t have anything but ideas.”
“Well, your ideas of offering free coding lessons and free robotics lessons were good.”
“But how do I know if they’ll think so.”
“Maybe you need to show them that it is more than just an idea.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, do the people in Dr. C’s lab want to help out with the lab?”
“Yeah. They have been really helpful to me and they give me lots of good ideas.”
“Do they plan to come to the lab?”
“Yeah. In fact, I’m relying on them for setting up the equipment that we’ll get from Dr. C.”
“Why don’t you ask people like Ben to let you know what they can offer in the way of community good?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you can offer to teach young kids to program, right?”
“Yeah. Maybe you can find others who are willing to teach stuff to younger kids.”
“Oh. I get what you are saying. Kind of make a list of free classes?”
“If you have commitments of specific classes from specific people, that’s a definitely a public good offering.”
“I can do that. From my room.”
“Ha.”
“Come to think of it. Some of the Facebook folks could offer Face Time instruction and support.”
“D.J., you haven’t even touched your pancakes.”
“Oops. Do you think the waitress will reheat them?”
“Are you sure you want microwaved pancakes?”
“Good point.”
Wrap Up
What a contrast this version of Andy is compared to the anxious watchful waiting father in Part I. He was attuned to D.J.’s abilities, interests and personality. Despite all D.J.’s strengths, relating to others was not one of them. In these vignettes we watched how Andy orchestrated D.J.’s social development, by drawing on his son’s passions and abilities. He joined D.J. in his world and helped him learn to invite others into it. In the process, D.J. learned to navigate the world around him that had previously felt too threatening to engage. Andy recognized that Dr. C.’s suggestion D.J. start a lab for kids resonated with his son. It represented a way of transforming passion into purpose. Andy helped his son weave that thread into whole cloth by remaining curious, supportive, and at times challenging.
With his father’s support, D.J. made developmental progress in his ability to relate to others. With Andy’s encouragement, D.J. engaged in interpersonal challenges that he otherwise would have avoided. Andy’s presence and encouragement helped soothe his anxiety until mastery served that purpose on its own. The Part I version of D.J. would work on projects alone and try to solve problems alone. He did not look to others as necessary, helpful or enjoyable. Life in his cave was working for him. Andy was able to help D.J. translate passion into purpose. Once purpose was meaningful enough, D.J. recognized that he needed the help and involvement of others. Instead of telling D.J., “You need to go make friends,” his father reminded him that other people could be helpful in fulfilling his purposeful goals. Consequently, the drive to connect with others came from inside D.J. and became strong enough to overcome his fears.
What a nice example of making A MESS, on the part of both father and son. And it was a fine example of the power of passion and purpose for encouraging and sustaining necessary engagement en route to developmental mastery. Let’s see if passion and purpose have a necessary role in helping our other teens.