Just Coasting Part VII – Drop the agenda

Parent A – I think the benefits of the grand experiment (of no screens for a week) are wearing off.

Dr. B – What do you mean?

Parent A – Well, like you warned me, limiting the video gaming did not produce an academic transformation.

Dr. B – So you deem your little experiment a failure?

Parent A – Oh, no. In fact, I’m doing some writing in the morning now and I’m back to reading novels. 

Dr. B – And neglecting your morning coffee and “all the news that’s fit to print”?

Parent A – The world seems to be managing without my full attention.

Dr. B – And how about your son?

Parent A – What do you mean?

Dr. B – I remember you saying he was making some “amazing’ projects out of Lego’s.

Parent A – Actually, he’s kept at it.

Dr. B – Your experiment had no effect on his school work, but …

Parent A – But I missed an opportunity to show him that his video gaming interfered with pursuit of genuine interests – like his Lego inventions?

Dr. B – That sounds like a variation on your “misplaced priorities agenda”.

Parent A – Well it’s true.

Dr. B – Of course it is, but it goes without saying. Your son has decided for himself to spend more time on Lego inventions and less on video gaming.

Parent A – So, keep the conflict in the kid, stupid? Is that what you are saying?

Dr. B – I would have gone with “Less is More”, but now that you have said it, sure … don’t mess with a good within-kid-process underway.

Parent A – Duly noted. Now what?

Dr. B – You mean “what?” with respect to your school effort agenda, or “what?” with respect to talking to your son from a place of genuine curiosity?

Parent A – Ouch. You are being rough on me today.

Dr. B – I’m sorry if it feels like a dope slap. I’m just pointing out a missed opportunity to be curious about an area of obvious interest and ability. And shouldn’t that be your “agenda”?

Parent A – I guess I did have blinders on.

Dr. B – Don’t worry. If you only get a hit one third of the time, you’ll end up in the Hall of Fame.

Parent A – And not the Parental Hall of Shame?

Dr. B – Goodness no. Remember, we’re aiming for “Good Enough”, not perfection.

Author: ahbtest

Dr. Beitel has decades of experience as a therapist, teacher and parent since earning his Ph.D. from the University of Illinois. As a member of the University of Illinois medical school faculty, Dr. Beitel supervises psychiatry residents in training. He is married to "the other Dr. Beitel", a family physician. He and Joyce have two grown children.

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