Cry “Uncle”

Are still able to get down on the floor to play with your kids, or do your knees cry, “Uncle”?

Do you ever get down on the floor and tickle your kids? They love it – until they don’t. Invariably, the fun overflows the riverbanks and floods them emotionally. Either that or your spouse takes you out behind the garage and floods you with invectives.

So what’s a fun loving parent to do? Actually, this isn’t rocket science. All you need to do is arm your child with the ability to control when things are getting out of control. If they have a code word, such as “uncle”, then they can trust that as soon as you hear the word, tickling stops. They are no longer dependent on you to monitor them and they do not have to choose between too little and too much tickling. They get to dial in just the right amount. Yeah. There needs to be a word for “Start It Up”.

(Play Rolling Stones, Start It Up)

So what’s the big deal? The big deal is for kids to learn emotional awareness and self-regulation. It’s also important to know they are entitled to say when it happens and when it stops. It’s a first step in the direction of “When ‘No’ means ‘No’”.

Self-regulation, self-assertion, and a healthy sense of entitlement are all useful qualities for handling adolescence.

Author: ahbtest

Dr. Beitel has decades of experience as a therapist, teacher and parent since earning his Ph.D. from the University of Illinois. As a member of the University of Illinois medical school faculty, Dr. Beitel supervises psychiatry residents in training. He is married to "the other Dr. Beitel", a family physician. He and Joyce have two grown children.

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