Parent: So how did it go? Did you talk to the girl?
Child: I tried, but I think I screwed it up.
Parent: How so?
Child: Well, I followed your advice and tried to ask her questions …
Parent: But?
Child: But when she asked me a question, I lost it.
Parent: Lost it?
Child: Yeah. I went right back to worrying about what to say.
Parent: Ha. Smart girl. She turned the tables on you.
Child: Huh?
Parent: Maybe she had the same strategy for staying calm that you did.
Child: She’s too cool to be worried.
Parent: You can ask Mom whether that’s a fair assumption.
Child: So, I’m back to square one. Any more great ideas oh wise one?
Parent: That’s a lot of pressure. You’re making me worried.
Child: Enough with the joking.
Parent: Ok. I do have a suggestion. Or maybe even two.
Child: Ok.
Parent: Do you know anything about this girl?
Child: Sure. She’s in a bunch of my classes.
Parent: What does she like to do?
Child: She’s into art and sports.
Parent: Great. So you two probably have some common interests.
Child: Duh. That’s why I like her.
Parent: If you are worried about what to say, then have some ideas, topics, or questions prepared ahead of time.
Child: That sounds artificial.
Parent: Or just good intel.
Child: So what was your other great idea?
Parent: You know when we meditate; we bring our focus back to our breath if our thoughts wander?
Child: Yeah.
Parent: Well, if you start thinking about your performance …
Child: Start thinking about my breathing?
Parent: No. In this case, you want your focus to return to her.
Child: How do I do that?
Parent: You are the one who finds her interesting. Return to being curious … about her.
Child: What if she asks me questions, again?
Parent: Don’t think, just answer.
Child: Whatever happened to ‘analyze before you act’?
Parent: Forget I ever said that.
Child: I should have had this talk with Mom.
Parent: Wasn’t that obvious from the beginning?
