Parent: That’s quite a bowl of ice cream. What are we celebrating?
Child: Actually, Dad, I’m self-medicating.
Parent: Well, pass me a little of that medication before you take it all.
Child: Sure.
Parent: So, what disease are we treating today?
Child: I don’t know how to talk to girls.
Parent: Just offer them ice cream.
Child: Seriously, Dad?
Parent: Ever met a girl who didn’t like ice cream?
Child: What’s your point?
Parent: First, tell me why you think it’s so hard to talk to girls.
Child: I get so nervous I can’t think of what to say.
Parent: What are you nervous about?
Child: That I’m going to screw up. That she’s going to think I’m dull or boring or whatever. The list is long.
Parent: So you are worrying about yourself?
Child: Yeah. Absolutely.
Parent: So, you can’t think of what to say ‘cause you are worried that you are going to say something stupid or she’s going to think something is wrong with you?
Child: Yep. What did you say to find Mom?
Parent: She found me. But that’s another story.
Child: So. What do I do?
Parent: Well, if your brain is occupied with worrying about yourself, that doesn’t leave much brainpower for tuning into her.
Child: Huh?
Parent: If you are worrying, you can’t think straight, right?
Child: Yeah.
Parent: And you are worrying about what to say or what she might think of you.
Child: Right.
Parent: So get the focus off of you and on to her.
Child: How?
Parent: Just be genuinely curious. Just ask her questions.
Child: Questions?
Parent: About her. Find out what she likes and keep asking. Stay curious.
Child: You make it sound so easy.
Parent: Well, it can be easier, if you keep the focus on finding out about her.
Child: Instead of worrying about me … right?
Parent: You got it.
Child: So what’s that got to do with ice cream?
Parent: Everybody likes someone who is genuinely interested in them and listens carefully.
Child: Yeah?
Parent: Yeah. It feels good, like eating ice cream.
Child: Now tell me about Mom.
