If a baby were abandoned on a street corner, a passer-by would come to its rescue. If other people were present, a person might be less likely to act. Alone in a cage with an infant monkey, an adolescent male monkey provided nurturance. When another male adolescent was introduced, that nurturing stopped.
When you are the sole parent at home with your child, you assume full responsibility for your child.
Sole responsibility for someone or something is a compelling source of commitment and motivation. In fact, it can bring out the best in us. Look what parenting has done for you.
Kids can benefit from responsible roles and if they feel primarily responsible, so much the better. Whether it is sole responsibility for a pet; their own garden plot; or a clothing allowance, kids usually rise to the role.
There’s a world of difference between a child’s commitment and motivation for a responsibility they have chosen versus a chore they have been assigned.
Here’s an example of how this might play out:
“Here’s a list of the things the family depends on. Dad volunteered to do the mowing and shoveling. Mom volunteered to do the grocery shopping once a week. Is there something on this list you would like to be in charge of?”
or
“I need an assistant who can help me do some of the cooking. Would you like to be my sous chef on Saturday and Sunday mornings?”
Young kids love to help. Adolescents step up when given important responsibilities. I have found that troubled adolescents invariably set their problems aside when asked to care for a younger or more disabled child. Responsibility brings out the best in people, regardless of age.
