Parent – So, how do I teach my kids not to blame?
Dr. B – You are not going to like my answer.
Parent – Try me.
Dr. B – Well, you need to make sure you’re not asking your child to ‘do as you say and not as you do’.
Parent – So you are blaming me for my children’s behavior?
Dr. B – I’m saying we all need to be mindful of our own behavior.
Parent – Like what?
Dr. B – It can be as simple as not blaming the referee for a loss.
Parent – Or blaming one of our favorite politicians?
Dr. B – Well, there are exceptions to the rule.
Parent – Huh?
Dr. B – When we are worthy of blame, we need to own our mistakes, apologize, and make things right.
Parent – You’ll never be a politician.
Dr. B – You got my point. Right?
Parent – Yeah. You are saying that the example we set for our kids is a very powerful message of how to behave.
Dr. B – I couldn’t have said it any better.
Parent – Any other suggestions for teaching my kids?
Dr. B – Take advantage of teachable moments.
Parent – Huh?
Dr. B – If your child blames someone when something goes wrong, they foreclose the possibility for growth.
Parent – Growth?
Dr. B – Growth that comes from learning from mistakes, overcoming challenges or analyzing their contribution.
Parent – So, will that teach them not to blame?
Dr. B – Can’t hurt.
