Dr. B – What have you concluded about coasting and humiliation?
Parent A – Oh, I think they are linked. Coasting is a safe form of avoiding humiliation.
Dr. B – Just do enough to avoid criticism?
Parent A – Yeah.
Dr. B – Have you developed a coasting cure?
Parent A – As a matter of fact. I do have some ideas. Or I should say, “We have some ideas”.
Dr. B – Your son is helping develop a coasting cure?
Parent A – With his help, I realized it is not just his issue.
Dr. B – Ha. A family affliction?
Parent A – Yeah. Coasting, as in the effort you seem to be giving this session.
Dr. B – I’m just trying to empower you.
Parent A – Whatever. He and I agreed that coasting did several things: It had to be easy. Just do as little as possible at the last minute. If you weren’t trying your hardest, you had nothing to lose. Do just enough to keep everyone satisfied (or not criticizing you).
Dr. B – And believe that school is not important?
Parent A – Yeah. Peer support for that notion is important, but we didn’t address that in our analysis.
Dr. B – So, what is the recipe?
Parent A – No grades; no comparisons; no time limits; and no failures. Just learning.
Dr. B – No failures? We want our kids to learn to tolerate failures and learn from them.
Parent A – That reminds me. One more on the list: “There’s no one right way to do something.”
Dr. B – How can you have no failures?
Parent A – It’s all about rebranding, Doc. Failures are attempts or trials or experiments. You know. Edison made a thousand different attempts with different filaments, not a thousand failures.
Dr. B – Ok. So, safety from failure, comparison, and judgment?
Parent A – Yeah. A humiliation free zone.
Dr. B – Sounds like a good plan. How are you going to apply that to school?
Parent A – I suspect there is more potential for this at school than my son realizes.
Dr. B – You mean with the math and English teachers?
Parent A – I think their options for rewriting and retesting had some of these factors in mind.
Dr. B – So, this plan will get a fair hearing?
Parent A – I suspect it will.
Dr. B – And here I thought the formula was, “Less work, more play”.
Parent A – How did you ever get to be a doctor?
Dr. B – Can’t coast when you are married with kids.
