Parent: You left me kind of worried.
Dr. B: How so?
Parent: After we talked, I started worrying about what kind of parent I am.
Dr. B: What do you mean?
Parent: Well, it seems like I’m kind of like Mr. Watson when it comes to parenting. You know, without a plan.
Dr. B: And your wife?
Parent: Oh, she’s definitely a Mrs. Gaines. Everything has a purpose.
Dr. B: Interesting. So, what are you worried about?
Parent: I worry that I just play with my kids, and I’m not doing anything to help them with those developmental pathways you told me about.
Dr. B: Kids learn a lot during play.
Parent: Yeah, I know. But am I supposed to be a little more purposeful in what I expose them to?
Dr. B: You think you should tell your kids how to play?
Parent: Well, no.
Dr. B: So what is the play that you’re worried about?
Parent: My kids like to rough house with me.
Dr. B: Rough house?
Parent: Wrestle. Tickle. Battles with monsters.
Dr. B: And you are worried …
Parent: That they aren’t learning anything. My wife is always helping them with reading or drawing or music lessons. You know. Communication, creativity.
Dr. B: And you are just the guy they have fun with?
Parent: Yeah. Like Mr. Watson.
Dr. B: What was your last rough housing?
Parent: My daughter was a dragon slayer.
Dr. B: And you were the dragon?
Parent: Yep. Kind of a hard luck dragon, ‘cause I kept dying.
Dr. B: So, I take it she was in charge of the story as well as your executions?
Parent: Yep.
Dr. B: Were you a scary dragon?
Parent: Yeah, right up until I died.
Dr. B: Didn’t you breath fire or use your talons?
Parent: Tried, but she always had an answer for those.
Dr. B: Resourceful kid.
Parent: Yeah. You wouldn’t want to meet her in a dark alley.
Dr. B: Or a crowded subway.
Parent: Right.
Dr. B: So, it sounds like you had fun … and she learned a lot as well.
Parent: Huh?
Dr. B: I can name a bunch of things you helped her with.
Parent: Such as?
Dr. B: She took charge and creatively developed a narrative. She let you be a scary dragon, but trusted that you would reign in your intensity when she gave the word. She felt empowered to overcome a threatening adversary. She problem solved solutions to your threats. And, from what I can see, she showed compassion and eventually let you live.
Parent: I had to beg for mercy, though.
Dr. B: Well, you are teaching her to have a conscience.
Parent: Cool.
Dr. B: Most importantly, did you teach her to clean up the crime scene, when you were done?
Parent: Yeah. Her mother will never know a bloodbath ever took place in the family room.
Dr. B: If you know what paths your children need to pursue developmentally, you can be mindful of them as you play.
Parent: That makes me feel better.
Dr. B: We don’t tell an artist what they should paint, but we keep them well supplied with paints, brushes and canvases. And our genuine interest.
