Parent: I did that pie chart challenge you suggested.
Dr. B: You mean for analyzing how you are spending your time?
Parent: Yeah, in contrast to how I want to spend my time.
Dr. B: So how did it work?
Parent: You mean, how did the recommendation of “Just sit with it” work?
Dr. B: Not enough direction, was it?
Parent: Well, to be fair. It was helpful.
Dr. B: How so?
Parent: Well, I think my term for it is, “Therapeutic Shaming”.
Dr. B: Ewww. Not sure that’s a label that will sell.
Parent: Well, in all seriousness, it made me uncomfortable enough that I started to do something about it.
Dr. B: Like what?
Parent: Well, it caused me to be more conscious of what I was doing.
Dr. B: You mean it spoiled your enjoyment of reading on your phone?
Parent: No, but it made me occasionally stop and ask myself whether this was what I really wanted to be doing.
Dr. B: How is that working for you?
Parent: Truthfully? The effect wore off quickly. I think I need some more clarity than just “sit with it”.
Dr. B: You want me to take your phone away from you?
Parent: Could you?
Dr. B: That bad, eh?
Parent: It really is an addicting device.
Dr. B: Yep.
Parent: So, besides having you take my phone away, what do you suggest I do?
Dr. B: As I recall, you told me that you figured out how to manage your monthly expenses.
Parent: Yeah.
Dr. B: Managing time and managing money have a lot in common.
Parent: Yeah?
Dr. B: Well, there’s always more that we want than we can afford.
Parent: And there’s more interesting things to do on my phone, than there are hours in the day.
Dr. B: Exactly. So what was your solution to managing your money?
Parent: I learned to pay myself first.
Dr. B: What do you mean?
Parent: I set things up so that I pay my essential bills first and automatically. I save for my retirement by having money automatically withdrawn from my paycheck each month.
Dr. B: So how would you translate this to time management?
Parent: Well, I guess I need to make sure I do these things I say I want to do before I settle in with my phone and start reading.
Dr. B: That sounds good. How would you do that?
Parent: Probably need to pick some activity that I want to add and do it early in the day instead of trying to find time later.
Dr. B: What is an example?
Parent: You name it. Exercising, gardening, writing to friends, drawing, …
Dr. B: I didn’t know you were an artist.
Parent: I’m not. Because I don’t spend enough time doing it.
Dr. B: Here’s a suggestion. Make yourself a wish list of activities. Then on your days off, pick one to do first thing in the morning for a couple of hours, …
Parent: Before I pick up my phone?
Dr. B: Yeah.
Parent: That will be hard to do.
Dr. B: Yep. But eventually, you will remind yourself how much you enjoy those activities you have been missing.
Parent: You really think so?
Dr. B: If it doesn’t, I’ll come pick up your phone.
Parent: How does this apply to parenting?
Dr. B: Sometimes kids need time limits on phones, screens, and video games so that these other activities have a chance to get some traction.
Parent: So by the time a kid is my son’s age, he’d rather be building robots than surfing the internet?
Dr. B: That’s the theory. But as you well know from personal experience …
Parent: It ain’t easy.
