Playground Politics – V – bullying cont.

Child – So Dad. Why is James such a bully?

Parent – What do you think?

Child – It must make him feel good for some reason. Isn’t that why people do stuff?

Parent – Yeah. Or to feel less bad.

Child – Huh? What do you mean?

Parent – Well, do you remember when the Cubs were terrible?

Child – Like, your whole life?

Parent – Not now.

Child – Dad, don’t get defensive. You brought it up. They were terrible.

Parent – Even though they weren’t very good, I could feel better about them whenever they beat the Cardinals.

Child – I thought we were talking about James.

Parent – Well, if I feel better when the Cubs down the Cards for a day, maybe James feels better when he puts someone else down.

Child – Ha. I never thought of it that way. So on that day the Cubs don’t suck so bad?

Parent – No, I just don’t feel so bad about the fact that they suck.

Child – So, James doesn’t want to feel bad about himself? I doubt he’d admit that.

Parent – Yeah. I’m sure you’re right.

Child – Are you saying James has low self-esteem?

Parent – I’m guessing his self-esteem has to do with how he compares himself with others.

Child – So that’s why he’s always putting other people down?

Parent – Maybe. It’s kind of an, “I’m up because you are down” system.

Child – Well, I just ignore him.

Parent – I’ll bet he doesn’t like that.

Child – Nope.

Author: ahbtest

Dr. Beitel has decades of experience as a therapist, teacher and parent since earning his Ph.D. from the University of Illinois. As a member of the University of Illinois medical school faculty, Dr. Beitel supervises psychiatry residents in training. He is married to "the other Dr. Beitel", a family physician. He and Joyce have two grown children.

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