Parent A – The empathy and understanding approach was helpful in calming down my little eco activist.
Dr. B – But?
Parent A – Then we were both feeling kind of hopeless about the future (of our planet).
Dr. B – Oh, oh.
Parent A – It’s really hard to give her advice, when the problem is so great and beyond our ability to control.
Dr. B – As in, your vote won’t make a difference, so why bother?
Parent A – Ouch. Ok. So how do we do this empowerment thing?
Dr. B – The two of you need to find some way to turn emotion into action.
Parent A – Like what?
Dr. B – You said she was pointing out all the things wrong in the family? What were they?
Parent A – Everything from eating meat to growing grass instead of a natural habitat.
Dr. B – You two could investigate the things that bother her as well as where she might want to apply herself.
Parent A – I think she would prefer the changes start with me.
Dr. B – Ha. Is she making you feel guilty about eating your hamburger?
Parent A – As a matter of fact, yes.
Dr. B – The theme is empowerment. But, as you know, the example you set is important.
Parent A – Well, I’m not going to tear up my lawn.
Dr. B – No, but if you and she are interested, would you give a garden plot for a bird or butterfly garden?
Parent A – Give a mouse a cookie …
Dr. B – If one of your kids gets into it, then maybe the garden will grow as their ability to maintain it grows?
Parent A – Sounds a little like, “Do as I say, not as I do.”
Dr. B – We all have changes to make.
Parent A – How do we decide where to start?
Dr. B – I think you want to help your child match her interests and talents with the chosen tasks. You want her to engage, feel empowered, but not overwhelmed and discouraged.
Parent A – Give me an example.
Dr. B – Let’s say the garden idea has some appeal. She might start with a garden or planting trees. If she is passionate about that, maybe she can look for other places to transform with plantings.
Parent A – She’s really into the “no meat” thing.
Dr. B – Well, then tell her that not eating meat means learning to prepare delicious plant-based meals with plenty of protein.
Parent A – First they came for the burgers. Then they came for the chocolate chip cookies.
Dr. B – Geez. So, what about your ten-year-old. You said he was worried when he heard your daughter at the dinner table.
Parent A – Next day, he was back to his old ‘happy-go-lucky” self.
Dr. B – You know. You don’t want to alarm him, but you do want to instill an environmental ethic, from an early age.
Parent A – Yeah. Absolutely. As a matter of fact, when he heard us talking about the butterfly garden, he was all over that. I found him the next day, digging up my lawn.
Dr. B – Ha. How did that go?
Parent A – I asked myself, “What would Doc recommend?”.
Dr. B – What would I have said?
Parent A – “Let the horse run.” I gave him a plot of ground. We went to the garden store to buy seeds and he’s off to a great start.
Dr. B – How does it look?
Parent A – He marked the perimeter with yellow contractor’s tape. It looks like a crime scene from a distance. But he is very proud.
Dr. B – Sounds like you hit a home run with him.
Parent A – But my daughter has latched on to the meat issue. And she’s insisting on it being a change for the whole family.
Dr. B – That’s a tough one.
Parent A – She calls it “cow” instead of “meat”. I told her that guilt induction wasn’t going to do it for me. She had to show me that vegetarian meals were a satisfying substitute.
Dr. B – Isn’t your office across the street from a rib joint?
Parent A – I don’t know whether that is good or bad, but it’s always good to know I’m not totally without backup.
Dr. B – Just don’t come home with barbeque sauce on your tie.
