Parent A – My thirteen-year-old turned last night’s dinner into a grand inquisition.
Dr. B – As in, “Let’s burn them at the stake” Inquisition?
Parent A – More like, “The planet is burning and you are to blame” Inquisition.
Dr. B – Oh, oh. I told you not to send your kids to that school.
Parent A – This is serious. She’s very upset and she got our 10-year-old all worried and asking questions.
Dr. B – So, how can I help?
Parent A – She’s pointing to everything we do or have done that’s endangering our planet.
Dr. B – I thought you guys were pretty mindful of climate change.
Parent A – So was I. Apparently, we aren’t doing enough. Everything from my leather belt and sausage pizza to our gas stove and green lawn is doing great harm.
Dr. B – Ooh. She criticized your lawn? That had to hurt.
Parent A – How am I supposed to talk to her, especially when her anger at us seems so misplaced?
Dr. B – Kids trust their parents to protect them and keep them safe. But your daughter is old enough to understand the threats we face with climate change. Her idealization of you took a hit; as it should.
Parent A – As it should? Whose side are you on?
Dr. B – Your daughter’s anger about climate change is justified. You need to help her with it, but not be defensive.
Parent A – It’s hard not to get defensive when her anger at me really doesn’t seem fair.
Dr. B – It does seem unfair. I know you are very concerned about climate change. It’s hard to have someone criticizing you.
Parent A – I see what you are doing. One of your Jedi mind tricks.
Dr. B – Huh?
Parent A – You were showing me that I need to be empathic and understanding with my daughter, so that we can get past all the emotion and talk.
Dr. B – Ha. If you say so. Genuine empathy and curiosity are always good ways to start a talk with your kids, especially when they are upset.
Parent A – What am I supposed to do with all this anger she’s spewing?
Dr. B – Well, given the rate of climate change, maybe her anger is justified.
Parent A – Well, right now, all her anger is doing is ruining the climate in our home.
Dr. B – Anger is a useful emotion. It tells us something is wrong and needs changing. And … it can provide the motivation for making necessary changes.
Parent A – So, I should be grateful that she didn’t get depressed and give up when she saw how bad things have gotten?
Dr. B – Exactly. Help her harness that anger and turn it into action.
Parent A – It is such an overwhelming problem. I don’t see how we can make any difference.
Dr. B – It is overwhelming and it will require monumental changes and sacrifices. But your primary concern should be honoring your daughter’s feelings and helping empower her.
Parent A – To the barricades. Liberty, fraternity …
Dr. B – You do realize, your daughter is just like you.
Parent A – Now you are blaming me too?
