Try Not To Kill It II

Parent: Did your kids ask you, “why”, “why”, “why” all the time?

Dr. B: Sure.

Parent: Didn’t you get tired of it?

Dr. B: Sounds like you are.

Parent: Well, yeah. No matter what I say, they just ask another “why” question.

Dr. B: That’s great.

Parent: Huh?

Dr. B: Would you prefer your kids to not be curious?

Parent: Well no. But it gets a little old.

Dr. B: What do you mean by old?

Parent: It’s like they are never satisfied. Any answer I give just leads to another “why” question.

Dr. B: Why are all the “why” questions such a burden?

Parent: Seriously?

Dr. B: Yes, seriously. Why do they bother you?

Parent: It’s like I’m wracking my brain to answer all the questions and all they are doing is just saying, “why”.

Dr. B: Ha. So you reach your limit in answers and patience.

Parent: Yeah.

Dr. B: Well, we don’t want to stifle curiosity. That’s where the passion for learning comes from.

Parent: Yeah. Well, I’m the one who is digging for all the answers to the “why” questions.

Dr. B: You don’t have to just give them answers. Turn their curiosity into motivation to find answers for themselves.

Parent: What do you mean?

Dr. B: Well, when they ask “why”, you can say something like

“Let’s figure out how to find that answer.”

“How would you go about getting that answer?”

“That’s a great idea. How would you make that … ?”

Parent: I get it. Keep the curiosity in the kid, just like the conflict.

Dr. B: Now, you’re getting it.

Author: ahbtest

Dr. Beitel has decades of experience as a therapist, teacher and parent since earning his Ph.D. from the University of Illinois. As a member of the University of Illinois medical school faculty, Dr. Beitel supervises psychiatry residents in training. He is married to "the other Dr. Beitel", a family physician. He and Joyce have two grown children.

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