Parent – I don’t understand all the teasing and put-downs.
Dr. B – Who was doing the putting down?
Parent – Sounds like it was my son. He was teasing a kid for being clumsy.
Dr. B – Hmmm.
Parent – He tried to make it sound like it was just playful teasing.
Dr. B – Guess it depends on whether you are the teaser or the teased?
Parent – Yeah. I didn’t like the sound of it.
Dr. B – What did you say?
Parent – Well, I bit my tongue before launching into my, “No son of mine is going to bully” speech.
Dr. B – Whew. That was a close one.
Parent – I basically asked him why he ‘teased’ the other kid.
Dr. B – It’s good you didn’t lead with the lecture, but don’t underestimate the power of your disappointment, even if it goes unsaid.
Parent – What do you mean?
Dr. B – Witnessing your concern and empathy for the other kid? Those are powerful tools for teaching moral integrity.
Parent –Yeah. My concern was hard to hide.
Dr. B – Moral integrity starts with caring about others.
Parent –Sounds like a sophisticated guilt trip.
Dr. B – A little guilt is good, if it helps us behave morally.
Parent –Ok.
Dr. B – So, what did you find out when you did your kind and gentle interrogation?
Parent –Jealousy, I think. Sounds like the kid is anything but clumsy when it comes to math and science.
Dr. B – So what did you conclude?
Parent –I guess, “If you can’t beat ‘em, drag ‘em down to your level’.
Dr. B – Works in politics.
Parent –Let’s not go there.
Dr. B – So, did your son gain some insight?
Parent –We’re working on it. This is really about self-esteem, isn’t it?
Dr. B – Sure sounds like it.
